Living Well While You're Unwell

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I am thankful for today…

I am grateful for the air that fills my lungs,

For time with family and friends,

For I don’t know what tomorrow brings,

But I am here today

And that’s all that matters.

One of the hardest parts of being sick is the uncertainty that it brings. Future plans get put on hold. It seems everything depends on the outcome of your health. Such ambiguity can be difficult a difficult burden to bear.

For me, I definitely have my good days and bad days. However, I’m happy to report right now, the good days far outnumber the bad. And for that I am extremely grateful.

I have read enough and spoken to enough people to prepare myself for the difficulty that lies ahead. I know there will be days that I am unable to get out of bed. There will be days when I will be unable to hug or hold my children. There will be times when I am unable to eat or even taste.

I have surrendered to the fact I am unwell. I believe in doing so, I take the first step towards healing. I know that difficulty lies ahead, but I am prepared to tackle it head on with dignity and grace for I know I have the faith and support I need to truly heal.

So right now, I am savoring every moment. Every embrace. Every sunrise. Every taste.

I’m not sure what tomorrow brings—so I am reveling in the wonder of today. Now, more than ever I understand the importance of mindfulness and making every moment meaningful.

Growing up, I always looked forward to Saturday mornings. My dad usually traveled a lot during the week and over the years, it became our special time together. It was always a magical time. Moments seemed to slow down.  Our most difficult choice became whether we wanted a waffle or a pancake. It was a time to catch up and just enjoy the pleasure of each other’s company while we took turns mixing the batter.  

Now as a mother myself, I’ve tried to recreate this special time with my own children.

Today, at breakfast we chose to make waffles with fruit topping. While I tweaked my family recipe to make it gluten free the kids got a special side of whipped cream. Why not? My kids are still home on winter break from school so we were able to take our time and enjoy every minute of breakfast. Now more than ever I am so grateful for these special moments.

 

Life is always unfolding now. But so often, we let these precious moments slip away, allowing time to rush past unobserved and unseized. We squander the precious seconds of our lives as we worry about the future and ruminate about what has passed.

As my time is growing uncertain, I am trying to make the most of each moment. While I’m not always successful, I believe the most important thing to do is to try and to be grateful for each moment while you have the chance.

What I've come to realize is that most of us don't accept our thoughts in awareness. Rather, our thoughts end up controlling us.  Often, "ordinary thoughts course through our mind like a deafening waterfall," says Jon Kabat-Zinn, the scientist who introduced meditation into mainstream medicine. In order to feel more in control of our minds and our lives, to find the sense of balance that eludes us, we need to step out of this current, to pause, and, as Kabat-Zinn puts it, to "rest in stillness—to stop doing and focus on just being."

We need to live more in the NOW. Living in the moment—also called mindfulness—is a state of active, open, intentional attention on the present. When you become mindful, you realize that you are not your thoughts; you become an observer of your thoughts from moment to moment without judging them. Mindfulness involves being with your thoughts as they are, neither grasping at them nor pushing them away. Instead of letting your life go by without living it, you awaken to experience everything around you more fully.

Here are some ways I have learned to practice mindfulness to be more grounded in the present moment:

Let go and just be. In order to move forward, I believe you must let go and accept your current situation as it is. Try not to impart judgement or reasoning into why it is happening to you. Rather accept that is and let go of your preconceived notions of how things should have or might have been. You need to have faith that this happened for a reason.

If something is bothering you, it’s important move toward it rather than away from it. Mindfulness is about acceptance—letting the emotion be there. That is, being open to the way things are in each moment without trying to manipulate or change the experience—without judging it, clinging to it, or pushing it away. The present moment can only be as it is. Trying to change it only frustrates and exhausts you. Accepting the moment as it is helps relieve you of this needless extra suffering.

Savor the present moment. Often, we're so trapped in our thoughts about the future or the past that we forget to experience or enjoy what's happening right now. Instead, it’s important to relish or revel in whatever you're doing at the present moment—what psychologists call savoring. This could be eating a piece of chocolate, taking a shower or basking in the sun. It usually involves your senses.  Savoring forces you into full awareness of what you are doing in that precise moment, so you can't worry about things that aren't there.

 Know that you don't know. Pause to recognize and appreciate the newness of your surroundings. You will soon realize that everything is constantly changing around you. In fact, change is the only constant thing in life. By stopping to see the world with fresh eyes, we realize almost everything is different and new each time—the pattern of light on the buildings, the faces of the people, even the sensations and feelings we experience along the way. The more you notice, the more you see.

Realize you are not your thoughts. According to Jon Kabat-Zinn, “we often relate to our thoughts, whether they’re intensely negative or not, as a reliable statement of the truth. When you’re angry, everything can seem threatening or annoying or inadequate. You believe what your thoughts are telling you. Mindfulness of thoughts allows you to be aware of a thought or strong emotion as a kind of a storm in the mind or an event in awareness. Once you see it as an event or a storm, it no longer has the same power over you.”

With practice, mindfulness can help us catch stressful emotions when they first arise. This keeps these emotions from turning into elaborate stress-filled stories that have no basis in fact but which we start to believe without question. For as Buddhist teachers like to say: the suffering is in the stories.

An effective way to bring your attention out of your stories and into the present moment is by taking three deep in-and out-breaths while turning your attention to the present moment. As you do this, notice what’s available to your senses right now: a sight, a sound—even the sensation of your clothes on your skin. Even if it’s not a particularly pleasant moment, at least you’re present for it instead of being lost in regrets about the past, or worst-case-scenarios about a future you can’t predict. And, more often than not, being mindful of your present moment experience reveals that there’s something pleasant going on right around you that you simply hadn’t noticed. This can be both soothing and healing.

True mindfulness is a journey, not a destination. But I truly believe it is the key to living well while your feeling unwell. Sure, there will be bumps and distractions along the away but the first steps start with the awareness and acceptance of what is, and faith in what will be.

So take a deep breath and just be here.

 

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Connecting the Dots

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Each year’s end brings a chance to pause and reflect on all has transpired. As difficult as this year has been for me and my family, I am thankful for all that it has taught me.  For I believe my difficulties have amplified my strengths, and my weaknesses have also illuminated my courage. It is said that you never how strong you are until it’s your only choice. 2017 has shown me I can endure way more pain and uncertainty than I ever imagined. I have come to realize that no matter what difficulties life places in my path— it cannot break my spirit and it cannot destroy my faith.

What’s your biggest takeaway from 2017?

In one of my favorite speeches, Steve Jobs eloquently describes how life must be lived forwards, but it truly can only be understood in hindsight:

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart even when it leads you off the well-worn path; and that will make all the difference.”
— Steve Jobs (Stanford commencement speech, June 2005)

I know 2018 will test my limits but I truly believe all of my past challenges have prepared me for the difficulties that lie ahead.

Take for example the fact that my oldest daughter was born with a congenital heart defect which required numerous hospitalizations and finally heart surgery when she was only months old. I was 21 years old at the time, still practically a child myself, yet I was now responsible for another life besides my own.

I knew my having my daughter at such a young age would be full of challenges but I never imagined I would be struck with such difficulty almost immediately upon becoming a mother.  Her heart defect caused her to struggle to gain weight, so it was decided that, at just 4 months old, she would need to undergo open heart surgery to repair the hole in her heart.

Her fragile state kept me and the rest of my family on high alert. I was told to not let her cry because any stress could make it difficult for her to breathe. During this time, she also began to have seizures when she would run a high temperature, mostly due to her low body weight. Her seizures and troubling breathing episodes required frequent trips to the ER followed by long-term hospitalizations. Soon my days became filled with doctor’s appointments and therapy for her.

As a young single mom, this was a lot to take in, but thankfully I had the support of my family and faith to lean on during these difficult times. Remarkably, due the amazing cardiac surgeon and all the nurses and staff at Advocate Children’s Hospital, my daughter made a full recovery and she is thriving today.

Looking back, all those health struggles and doctor’s visits prepared me for my next big challenge.

After my daughter made a recovery I began dating again and ended up falling in love with my coworker at the time. It was a happy time. Life was finally starting to feel wonderful again. Then in a blink of an eye, everything changed.

 Six months into our relationship, all of a sudden, he began having a horrible migraine. He said it was the worst headache he had ever experienced in his life. Pain-reliever, ice, rest, no light—none of the usual remedies were helping to reduce the pain.  The headache lasted for days it seemed. I finally urged him to go to the ER during a break at work.

The doctor at the urgent care was visibly concerned. He wrote him a prescription for a stronger medication to help with the pain. He then instructed him to get an MRI of his brain to hopefully rule out anything serious.

The amount of pain he was strikingly obvious and no amount of the medication or rest seemed to do much. It was a few days after the MRI when he received a follow-up call from the urgent care doctor with the results. He was told it was best that he come in to hear the news.

We drove over together in silence. The 5-minute drive from our office seemed like an eternity. Finally, we heard the news we were both suspecting but dreading to hear. The scan had shown he had a mass in his brain.

The next few days passed in a haze as we waited to meet with a neurologist/neurosurgeon at a nearby hospital. We soon learned that the mass in his brain was actually an AVM which is basically a cluster of blood vessels that was slowing constricting blood flow in his brain and if it ruptured, it could be fatal.

Like my daughter’s heart defect, my boyfriend’s AVM was something he was just born with. Thankfully, his AVM was caught and able to be treated before it ruptured, which is the unfortunate case for most AVM’s. They are typically only detected after they begin to bleed.  He still required numerous procedures called embolizations, where special a specially-trained radiologist strategically blocked off blood flow in his brain through a catheter placed in his thigh. Prior to having brain surgery to remove the AVM, my boyfriend had to undergo 4 embolization procedures. Finally, in April of 2009, he had brain surgery to remove the AVM. Miraculously, the surgery was a success and he was able to make a complete recovery.

As scary as my boyfriend’s health scare was at the time, my daughter’s illness undoubtedly helped prepare me for being there for him as he went through his own struggle. From all the time I spent in hospitals with my daughter, I now felt more at ease speaking with doctors. I was comfortable with medical terminology and this in turn helped me ask important questions regarding his treatment and recovery.

Due the combined stress of my daughter and boyfriend’s illnesses, I had to take a break from my college studies. Once my boyfriend was on the road to recovery, I was able to resume my education. In May of 2010, my boyfriend asked me to marry him. We decided to postpone our wedding until 2012 when I would be done with school. We married in March of 2012. Two years later in May of 2014, we welcomed twins. Our family was complete and life was finally coming together. Then I got cancer.

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As scary as this new chapter in my life is, I am embracing the changes that lie ahead. I now realize that all the major obstacles I have faced, both personally and in my relationships with others have paved the way for growth and new opportunities. I simply need to be brave enough to trust in my gut and face my fears. I truly believe your past doesn’t define you are, it simply prepares you for who you are to become. You simply need to pause long enough to connect the dots.

I believe 2018 will be a year filled with many surprises. I believe my patience, will, and body will be pushed to their limits. But I know that with my faith along with the support of family and friends, I have everything I need to move this mountain.

As 2017 comes to a close, I’m hopeful for tomorrow. I believe each day brings an opportunity to be a better version of yourself. So here’s to fresh starts and new beginnings because “it’s never too late to begin a new chapter, add a surprise twist, or change genres entirely.” I’m thankful for all 2017 taught me and I look forward to growing into the best version of me in 2018.  

 

Coping with Illness During the Holidays

Right before Thanksgiving, my world was turned upside down when I found a lump on the side of my neck. I so desperately wanted to wish it away and pretend it wasn’t there. It was the start of the holidays and this is not what I had planned. I initially put off going to the doctor thinking it was in my head, when I finally felt the urgency to get it checked out. For my family’s sake, I decided it was best to know for certain what I was dealing with so that I could get the proper treatment if necessary.

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From the troubled look on my doctor’s face to the slew of tests she ordered, I knew in my heart it wasn’t good. The next few days and weeks became a whirlwind of doctor appointments, imaging tests and blood work. The uncertainty of waiting for results became an uncomfortable norm.

My blood work showed elevated white blood cells, but my doctor didn’t think I had an infection. “Let’s wait to see what the CT scan shows.” Sure enough, my CT scan showed I had SEVERAL areas of enlarged lymph nodes in my neck. My heart sank into my stomach. Next came the news, “We need to take a biopsy of the enlarged lymph node in your neck.”

I opted to be aggressive and chose to have a surgical excision. While my doctor could perform a simple biopsy in an office setting, having it surgically removed and tested was the only way to ensure that they were taking enough tissue to get a proper diagnosis.

The day before Thanksgiving, I had outpatient surgery to remove the lymph node. The next day we hosted Thanksgiving dinner. I wasn’t going to let the fear of my impending diagnosis hamper our holiday fun.

Almost a week later, I received the news I feared. The tissue sample tested positive for lymphoma. I had cancer. Now the holidays are always stressful, even more so when you’re struggling with an illness, disability or injury. So how do you cope and find joy during the holiday season, when the whole world seems to be celebrating?

The first thing to realize is that, despite what we often see in holiday movies and on TV, the fact is many people struggle during the holidays. You are not alone. Whether you have recently lost a loved one or a job; moved or gotten divorced; or are of a non-Christian background — we all face the challenge of navigating a holiday season that can deepen the sense of being separated from the happy majority.

While there is no magic formula for dealing with the complex emotions that the holidays can bring, here are some tips that helped me find joy after being diagnosed with cancer right at the start of the holiday season:

    • Use the holiday season to pause and reflect on what truly matters in your life. Illness and injury bring traumatic changes, but some good always remains. Identify the relationships and activities that bring you joy—and make time for the people and events that nourish your spirit and make you smile.
    • Set lower expectations. Be aware of your energy level. Give yourself permission this year to accept less than perfect in your decorating and baking. Tell yourself, “This is temporary, I can let it go this time. I plan on being around for many more holidays.”
    • Let others help. If your list of holiday list of "things to do" is overwhelming, assign a few tasks to others. They’ll get the satisfaction of helping—and you’ll find you have a little more breathing room.
    • Learn to rest. Fatigue is a very common side effect of treatment and illness. Listen to your body when it is telling you it is tired. Give yourself permission to rest and relax.
    • Reach out. Friends and even family may not understand exactly how you’re feeling, but they genuinely want to help. Sometimes just talking about your feelings of sadness or isolation can lighten the burden of those feelings.
    • Consider a simpler approach to gift-giving. Tell all those friends who've been wanting to do something for you that they can help most by expecting no presents or cards this year. Within your own family, save time and deepen the true spirit of the season by giving personal gifts with no monetary value.
    • Savor the simple pleasures of the season. The food may not taste as good, and the smell may hinder your appetite as a result of your treatment. Allow yourself to enjoy being around others and look forward to enjoying meals at the next holiday, when your treatment is over.
    • Find a way to do something for somebody else. Living with an illness, acute or chronic, can be all-consuming. Avoid being defined by disease, by reaching beyond the limits and preoccupations of illness to connect with others. Send a card to someone you know who's sick or lonely. Or call them to just to let them know you're thinking about them.
    • Join a support group. The holidays are a very stressful time but it's important to remember you are not alone. Ask you doctor if he or she knows of any local support groups. Social media is also a great way to connect to others in similar situations.

    Disease and disability can turn lives upside down. But whatever changes and challenges you face, you still have a spirit that needs to be nourished. This year, and in all the years to come, focus on the parts of the holiday season that bring you joy and feed your love of life and of others. That’s the true spirit of the holidays and it’s available to everyone.


    Sources:

    Beliefnet

    ROCA Counseling

     

    Dealing with a Difficult Diagnosis

    Getting diagnosed is a double edged sword. On one hand, you can find comfort and a sense of relief in finally knowing what’s going on inside your body. But on the other hand, being diagnosed forces you to see yourself in a new, often negative light. You realize that you are not well. Part of your body is dysfunctional. For me, that was a difficult truth to face.

    Whether you were recently diagnosed with a terminal illness, or you are battling an invisible illness or injury—a diagnosis can bring sense of isolation. You feel separated from the outside world. You now know without a doubt that part of you is unwell.

    Normal every day life starts to feel hollow. You start to feel like you are living in two different worlds. One inside your head, where the reality of your illness consumes every waking thought. On the outside, you can smile and pretend at times that you are fine, but the truth is, the reality of your illness is never far from your mind.

    For me, I was first diagnosed with a serious illness at 15. It was 2001, and a year of great personal change and societal upheaval. In the spring of 2001, my aunt took her own life. This was the first time I lost a close family member. It was a shocking and traumatic blow to my close-knit family. During the same time, my beloved grandfather was dying of leukemia. Then in the fall, 9/11 happened and life in the U.S., as well the entire world, was forever changed. 

    I felt like I was losing control. It was all too much.  I felt scared and alone. Soon I just wanted to sleep and shut off the outside world. When I wasn't sleeping, my eyes were filled with tears. The constant stream of scrutiny in mind was unending. In my head, I was failing my family, my friends and even school. I could not find any hope in my current situation or the world. When my family would ask what was wrong, all I could do was answer, "You just don't understand."

    Soon the negative thoughts consumed nearly every waking thought. I was hardly eating or sleeping. I wanted it to stop. I wanted the pain to end. It was then that I first attempted to take my life.

    Thankfully, my mom found me before any serious harm came to me. My suicide attempt was truly a cry for help. I needed help getting control of all the thoughts in my head.

    After my suicide attempt, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I was given a host of medicines to try, from anti-depressants to lithium. I began to go to therapy. We were told to limit stressors and identify triggers. The medicine helped to slow down my racing thoughts but the rest of the world seemed to slow down along with it.

    I felt like I was standing alone in a crowed room, screaming at everyone around me to hear me and see the pain that I was in. But everyone else was moving so fast that they could not hear or even see me. They were not on my level. Once again I was alone. 

    While I wanted to fully accept my diagnosis and treatment plan, part of me rejected the idea that I wasn't well. After all I had been through that year and early on in my life, who wouldn't have a hard time adjusting to this much change and tragedy?

    In my head, being told I was bipolar at 15 was a death sentence. My aunt who took her life was bipolar. I assumed that I was destined to meet a similar fate since there is no cure. I began to rebel and thought it was best to live fast and hard since I was destined to die young. So I did.

    I fought the ups and downs of bipolar disorder for over 5 years. Throughout high school and my early years of college, I went on and off medicine and in and out of therapy depending on the severity of my symptoms. I ultimately had to leave college when I became pregnant with my first child at the age of 20.

    The patterns of mania and depression were obvious to everyone but myself. It was only after I lost control again and was on the brink of suicide that I finally sought and accepted the help and treatment I so badly needed.

    Taking Control

    When I found out I was pregnant at age 20, life as I knew it was forever changed...for the better. By honoring the new life growing inside me, I was able to finally start to heal. I wanted to be better, not just for myself, but I wanted to be there to love, guide and nurture the new life growing inside me. 

    Whether you are struggling with addiction, mental illness, trauma or serious illness, I believe the first step is acceptance. You need to accept and surrender to your situation in order to fully move past the negative and find the positive.

    In a 12 step program, recovery starts by admitting you are powerless, but that a power greater than yourself can restore you to sanity. For some, they find strength by finding a higher power in religion, while others find solace in nature, their pets or in living for their family. 

    I believe that the first step toward recovery lies in finding a motivation outside yourself. For me, my saving grace was having my daughter. Feeling the flickers of life growing inside me filled me with hope for me future—for the first time in my life.  She became the cornerstone upon which I built the foundation for my new life. Having the courage to have her, gave me the strength and confidence I needed to finally face my fears and grow into the woman I knew in my heart I was capable of becoming. 

    By finding the right mix of medicine along with cognitive behavioral therapy, I was finally able to take back control of my life and find the stability that is so often elusive when you are suffering from mental illness. Outside of medicine and therapy, what helped me the most to come to terms and accept being bipolar was the unwavering love, support and guidance from my (now) husband, parents and close friends.

    I believe having a strong support system outside of medicine and therapy is critical for long-term success. Their unconditional love allows me to feel at ease confiding my thoughts, no matter how strange or silly they might seem. This helps me understand if I am processing and reacting to a situation in the right manner.

    One of the most challenging parts of dealing with bipolar disorder or cancer is learning how to separate yourself from your illness so you can learn effective strategies to cope with the anxious or obsessive racing thoughts.  What helped me tremendously was understanding that intrusive thoughts are a symptom of my disorder. 

    Intrusive thoughts are thoughts that consistently enter your mind against your will. They're considered intrusive because you simply cannot get them out of your mind, and they often pop up at unusual moments. Intrusive thoughts may also occur in flashes, and often cause significant anxiety when they enter your mind. Examples of intrusive thoughts include unwanted memories and violent or sexual thoughts. Through cognitive behavioral therapy and by practicing mindfulness and meditation I was able to learn how to better control them.

    A book that helped me enormously to come to terms and learn effective coping strategies was Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder: A 4-Step Plan for You and Your Loved Ones to Manage the Illness and Create Lasting Stability by Julie Fast. If you or your loved ones are suffering from mental illness, I highly recommend reading this book. One of the reasons this resonated with me is the author Julie Fast has bipolar disorder. She wrote the book along with her doctor. Her honest perspective about dealing with mental illness coupled with the medical advice make this book one of the best I have ever read on the topic.

    After committing myself wholeheartedly to my treatment plan, I was able to go back to college, graduate with honors, get married, start my career and a family. Life was finally coming together. Then I was diagnosed with cancer. It's a shocking turn of events to accept when you feel that your life is finally getting on the right track.

    However, I am choosing to view my cancer diagnosis with an open and grateful heart. I’m grateful because I believe all my past experiences have prepared me for the difficult journey ahead. One of the ways I have been able to remain strong, positive and focused on my recovery is by applying a growth-centered mindset to my current situation.

    As Eckhart Tolle explains in his book, "A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose:

    “The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Separate them from the situation which is always neutral, which always is as it is. There is the situation or the fact, and here are my thoughts about it. Instead of making up stories, stay with the facts. For example, “I am ruined” is a story. It limits you and prevents you from taking effective action. “I have fifty cents left in my bank account” is a fact. Facing facts is always empowering. Be aware that what you think , to a large extent, creates the emotions that you feel. See the link between what your thinking and your emotions. Rather than being your thoughts and emotions, be the awareness behind them.”

     


    He goes on to say that, “Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment.” 

    According to Tolle, the root of our suffering has a noble purpose. Instead of wishing it away, we need to fully embrace it. For it is through embracing our suffering that we will awaken to our true purpose. While some things look negative on the surface, you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.

    The fact is I have cancer and bipolar disorder. I can't change the fact I have these illnesses, but I can control my actions, and in doing so I can create a positive mindset focused on healing rather than fighting. So I am choosing to embrace the uncertainty of my illness. I am learning to honor and accept my pain. For I believe this is all temporary and preparing me to be better, stronger and wiser on the other side. Every painful or uncomfortable moment is getting me one step closer to being both cancer free and whole again.

    Finding Healing with a Warrior Mindset

    It is said that a fighter’s journey begins in the mind. We all have those line-in-the-sand moments where our life is forever changed in an instant. For me, it was finding out I have cancer a week before I turned 32. So, how do you push on and find positivity when your whole world seems to be falling apart?

    Preparing through PositivityIn life, difficulty doesn’t discriminate. I believe it is how we respond to difficulty that ultimately defines us and shapes our character. The first step in developing a warrior mindset is to prepare for future obstacles…

    Preparing through Positivity

    In life, difficulty doesn’t discriminate. I believe it is how we respond to difficulty that ultimately defines us and shapes our character. The first step in developing a warrior mindset is to prepare for future obstacles and challenges you may encounter by cultivating a sense of self-awareness that is focused on growth.

    When negative events happen, instead of asking “Why me?” ask “What can I learn from this?”. “How can this challenge help me grow if I am brave enough to face my fears?”

    An attitude typically means a state of mind, feeling, or disposition. It also encompasses how a person views something or tends to behave toward it. This is why attitude is so important. A mindset is developed when you employ a fixed mental attitude that predetermines your response to a given situation. For example, your attitudes toward something helps develop your response or approach. Your mindset then becomes your approach.

    Believing it is Possible

    You often hear “if you can see it you can achieve it.” Well, there's a reason. It works. Using mental imagery or visualization is one of the most powerful skills you can use to enhance your mental toughness and performance under stress. Research has shown that if you mentally prepare and believe you can accomplish something, you will increase your chances of success. However, if you allow negative thoughts and doubts to creep in, they will ultimately decrease your chances of success.

    Using Mental Imagery for Success

    Here is a simple form of imagery training for everyday life:

    First, think about the action you are about to take. Go over it in your mind and imagine yourself doing the task while sitting or standing quietly. Next, think about it again but now go through the motions almost in a robotic motion. The final part is actually practicing the task.

    The goal of this training is to help create a bridge between the psychological and physical aspects of what you are trying to accomplish. If you incorporate this into your life, new skills won’t seem so new when you try them for the first time. However, mere repetition won’t do the trick. You must also visualize yourself being successful.

    Finding Your Own Mantra

    A mantra is a statement or quote repeated frequently, often when praying or meditating. I believe finding an empowering mantra or belief statement is the first step you can take towards healing.

    For me, during my cancer treatment I am employing the following mantra:

    “I have the strength, faith and support I need to heal from this cancer.”

    Your mantra doesn’t have to be religious, it can be a quote— even lyrics to a song. It just has to be something that empowers you and helps you focus on a positive outcome despite your current situation.  The key is to select one quote or empowering statement and repeat is out loud (to yourself) with emotion.  This is not a simple memorization process; this is to create energy, passion and a new belief.  Also, it’s important to select a different word to emphasize.  Say that you choose “Men’s best successes come after their disappointments.”  For the first 5 times you say it out loud with energy on the entire phrase.  Next emphasize the word “men’s”, for 5 times, then “best”, and so on until you have repeated the entire phrase. 

    Once you have your mantra, the next step is to visually pair it with a positive outcome in your mind.  Focus your intention and imagine yourself successfully tackling your current obstacle. Now, picture yourself many years in the future and think about how facing that fear or challenge has made you better, stronger. Take note of all the thoughts and feelings that come to mind.

    In regards to my own battle, every day I am picturing myself receiving the news that I am in remission. I then follow that image with more detailed visualizations of my body being healed and well enough to run in a 5K. Next, I picture myself well into the future—older, wiser and healthy, holding my grandkids in my arms.

    Thinking Like a Warrior

    The keys to a warrior mindset are preparing and believing.  Being a warrior simply means putting your heart and soul into something you believe in and never looking back. Having a warrior mindset means refusing to quit no matter the circumstances.

    Having a warrior mindset also means doing whatever it takes to be prepared for future challenges because warriors don't just survive, they overcome and win. At the end of the day, life is merely a mind game; so it's important that you play to win. Your life could depend on it.

    Sources:

     Police Magazine

    Warrior Mind Coach

    The Many Gifts of Cancer

    Cancer affords me the opportunity to see the world with my eyes wide open, reveling in the smallest details that I so often took for granted.

    Cancer lets me speak my truth without fear of judgement. Knowing my time here is growing uncertain, I no longer want to waste an interaction without telling those around me how I truly feel.

    Cancer grants me the courage to admit my past mistakes, failures and work to make amends with those I’ve wronged.

    Cancer makes me focus on the present moment rather getting lost in the past or scared about the future. All I have is NOW. Cancer helps me make the most of the present moment.

    Cancer gives me the opportunity to be vulnerable to those around me. By no longer being afraid of showing weakness, cancer gives me the courage to ask for and to accept help.

    Cancer helps me recognize the good in people by their many gestures of goodwill and support for my family.

    Cancer strips me of my vanity and ego. Cancer is helping me learn to be comfortable in my own skin, despite its ever-changing appearance.

    Cancer gives me hope that my pain and suffering may become a source of inspiration and healing for others.

    Cancer is a reminder that we can’t control what happens to us or those around us. All we can control is our reaction. So, choose love. Always try to do the right thing, the kind thing.

    Cancer is a daily reminder of the fragility and sanctity of life. Never forget that every day, people are fighting—to live, to heal, to survive. While we all struggle, cancer is a reminder that we are never alone in our struggle.